Ever have someone ask your opinion and then proceed to talk “at
you?” Guess what? They really didn’t want to hear your opinion. Basically, they
wanted an audience and – at that time – you were just perfect, thank you very
much. The exchange was one-sided because they wanted to tell you things not
hear what you had to say about anything.
The people that talk at you mistakenly believe they are
having a conversation. They’re not. A conversation involves talking with
people; having a discussion and exchange of ideas; everyone is equally engaged
and actively participating.
When someone continually talks at you, it can get annoying.
I mean, really. If you just need an audience, go stand in front of the mirror to
deliver your monologue and don’t waste my time. Right? Ever feel that way? Of
course, you have. I get it. People need to vent sometimes and that’s okay. If
that’s the case, just tell me up front. Then I know the rules. But if you ask
my opinion and then talk at me, my non-verbals will surely give away how the “conversation”
is going.
Talking at someone is much less effective that talking to or
with someone. Think about it. If you are so busy getting your message across, you
aren’t thinking about how that message is being received or whether your
remarks are appropriate or what non-verbal cues your audience is displaying or
reading the messages between the lines.
And, oh the things you will hear – and learn – when you
really listen to people and let them share their feedback! Two-way dialogue
improves relationships with people; makes you more approachable, makes you
real. Just saying.
Now go have a real conversation and have a great weekend.
Posted by MJ Thomas
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